7 signs your child might be dealing with anxiety

Anxiety in children doesn’t always look like adult anxiety. There’s often no obvious “worrying” happening. Instead, it shows up in behaviour that can look like something else entirely — defiance, physical complaints, meltdowns, or withdrawal.

1. Frequent stomach aches or headaches

The gut-brain connection is very real. Anxiety activates the body’s stress response, which can cause genuine physical symptoms — nausea, stomach pain, headaches. If your child regularly complains of tummy aches on school mornings or before social events, anxiety could be the underlying cause.

2. Avoidance and refusal

Anxious children often refuse to participate in things that trigger their anxiety — going to school, attending parties, trying new activities. This avoidance is their nervous system trying to protect them from perceived threat. It can look like stubbornness, but the underlying driver is fear.

3. Reassurance-seeking

Does your child ask “are you sure?” repeatedly? Do they need constant reassurance that things will be okay? This is a hallmark sign of anxiety. The reassurance provides brief relief, but the anxiety quickly returns — leading to a cycle of escalating reassurance-seeking.

4. Sleep difficulties

Bedtime is a common flashpoint for anxious children. Signs include: resistance to going to bed, difficulty falling asleep, frequent night waking, nightmares, or insisting on sleeping with a parent.

5. Irritability and meltdowns

When a child is in a constant state of low-grade anxiety, their emotional regulation resources are depleted. Small frustrations can tip them into big reactions. If your child seems unusually irritable or prone to meltdowns, anxiety may be running in the background.

6. Clinging and separation difficulties

Some anxious children become very attached to a parent and find separations distressing. This isn’t manipulation — it’s a genuine fear response. They need the proximity of their “safe person” to feel regulated.

7. Perfectionism and fear of failure

Anxious children often have an intense fear of getting things wrong. They may refuse to try new things, cry over small mistakes, or spend excessive time on schoolwork.

First: recognise that these behaviours are symptoms, not choices. Your child isn’t being difficult — they’re struggling. If signs are persistent and significantly impacting daily life, seek support from a GP or child psychologist. CBT is particularly well-evidenced for childhood anxiety.